Welcome to the UK's railways!

Despite the fact that we invented railways we have left it to the rest of the world to operate them properly, and many of us are very embarrassed about this. Therefore your visit to the UK, if you are planning to travel by rail, might be more exciting than you think. Do allow plenty of time for railway travel, much much more than you ever thought necessary and bring a sense of humour with you. Don't let the railways stop you from coming to the UK though, your experiences will give you plenty to tell your friends about when you get home!

Here is a list of announcements that you might hear, or passengers from the UK might tell you about now that they can view translations of some common problems.

• Trains are delayed because of the severe weather.
• Trains are delayed because the hot weather has buckled the tracks.
• This train has developed a technical fault which is being repaired. However, the one in front has broken down so we cannot move anywhere anyway.
• The trains are delayed because the wrong type of snow has fallen.
• The station announcer is not giving any information because he is reading his newspaper.
• The train will not move as due to its age it has broken down.
• The train will not move as it is new and has teething problems.
• You cannot get out at this station because the train doors are stuck.
• The train is cancelled as the railway made many drivers redundant and then didn't realise that it didn't have enough people to drive the trains.
• There is nowhere to buy a ticket and the ticket machine is broken. However, if you get on the train you will be fined for not having a ticket.